I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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