you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
