We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
