You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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