I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
