At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize