her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
