Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
