I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
