Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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