PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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