Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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