3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
