margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
