My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sober January is a disaster.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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