Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
