I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
