ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
