I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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