the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
