You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
