Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Terrible idea I love it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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