I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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