guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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