she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
