What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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