What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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