he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
