i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This house was built for laser tag.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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