I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
