I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
