I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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