Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
