Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
