therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
