sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
