I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
