you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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