I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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