he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
