You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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