Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
did i just pee glitter
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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