so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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