I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Randomize
