On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
