no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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