so explain again why im purple
no
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
