did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
