Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
