you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
